Ramblings of a retired mind.

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John *.?-!.* cub owner
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Ramblings of a retired mind.

Postby John *.?-!.* cub owner » Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:46 pm

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol
of today is those cell phones that everyone
has clipped on. I can't afford one.
So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

Employment application blanks always ask
'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write,
"A Good Doctor!"

You know, I spent a fortune
on deodorant before I realized
that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women
should put pictures of missing husbands
on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age
and decided that it is
'when you still have something on the ball,
but you are just too tired to bounce it'.

I thought about making a fitness movie,
for folks my age, and call it
"Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling
into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box,
they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"
Just once I want to say,
"No, it's for company!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals
up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do,
write to these men?
Why don't they just put
their pictures on the postage stamps
so the mailmen could look for them
while they deliver the mail?

I was thinking about how people
seem to read the Bible
a whole lot more as they get older.
Then, it dawned on me,
they were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping
God grades on the curve.

"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after tomorrow.
Or maybe even one day next week"...
If you are not part of the solution,
you are part of the problem!!!

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Postby Rudi » Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:04 pm


Thanks for the chuckle. Now I know what to expect in the coming years :roll: :wink: :lol:
Confusion breeds Discussion which breeds Knowledge which breeds Confidence which breeds Friendship

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Postby Eugene » Sat Feb 26, 2005 12:50 am

That was good. Just to show you how old and slow I am. There is a young lady at work that has been frequently wearing a black sweat shirt with big yellow letters on the front. The lettering says "Take off your pants and jacket".

Well, tonight I figured out what the letttering really says.


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Postby Bigdog » Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:47 am

Pumping rust. - I like that!
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

My wife says I don't listen to her. - - - - - - - - Or something like that!



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