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4 posts • Page 1 of 1
Ramblings of a Retired Mind
I was thinking about how a status symbol
of today is those cell phones that everyone
has clipped on. I can't afford one.
So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.
Employment application blanks always ask
'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write,
"A Good Doctor!"
You know, I spent a fortune
on deodorant before I realized
that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women
should put pictures of missing husbands
on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age
and decided that it is
'when you still have something on the ball,
but you are just too tired to bounce it'.
I thought about making a fitness movie,
for folks my age, and call it
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling
into your drawers!
I know, when people see a cat's litter box,
they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"
Just once I want to say,
"No, it's for company!"
Why do they put pictures of criminals
up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do,
write to these men?
Why don't they just put
their pictures on the postage stamps
so the mailmen could look for them
while they deliver the mail?
I was thinking about how people
seem to read the Bible
a whole lot more as they get older.
Then, it dawned on me,
they were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping
God grades on the curve.
"Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after tomorrow.
Or maybe even one day next week"...
"The Constitution is not an instrument for the government
to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the
government lest it come to dominate our lives and interests." Patrick Henry
Thanks for the chuckle. Now I know what to expect in the coming years
That was good. Just to show you how old and slow I am. There is a young lady at work that has been frequently wearing a black sweat shirt with big yellow letters on the front. The lettering says "Take off your pants and jacket".
Well, tonight I figured out what the letttering really says.
Pumping rust. - I like that!
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
My wife says I don't listen to her. - - - - - - - - Or something like that!
4 posts • Page 1 of 1
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