Got a funny that's clean or even an accidental funny. Let's all get a good laugh because it's healthy.
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Keep it clean (we have youngsters here) and leave the politics and religious jokes for some other forum
9 posts • Page 1 of 1
MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going
to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
"The probability of life originating from accident is comparable to the probability of the unabridged dictionary resulting from an explosion in a printing shop." Edwin Conklin, biologist
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
My wife says I don't listen to her. - - - - - - - - Or something like that!
Wow Bill sounds like something I would do, too funny. By the way Iams gives you less gas.
22 mower 5', grader blade, 189 two way moldboard plow, cultivators ,danco C2 mower,1961 Comet, 1984 BMW 318i
Part of life is falling down, living is getting back up.
Personally I like Gravy Train. Just add water, makes its own gravy. Mmmmm good !!!
REMEMBER: Keep it correct, or you may have to face the
Great one Bill !!
Thought you were going to say she went back and bought a bag herself.
"More gold has been mined from the thoughts of men than has been taken from the earth." -- Napoleon Hill
Good one Bill. That reminded me of when I was little and used to hang out with my Unkle Larry. One day he said " If you eat this piece of dog food, I will too". Naturally I trusted him and tried it and he started laughing at me. I still remind him about lying to me
When I told my dad I've been misplacing things and doing stupid stuff----His reply---"It only gets better"
Just read this one to my Mom and Em... I am still hurting
Confusion breeds Discussion which breeds Knowledge which breeds Confidence which breeds Friendship
"Before beginning a hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it." - Winnie
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