Designated Decoy

Got a funny that's clean or even an accidental funny. Let's all get a good laugh because it's healthy.
Forum rules
Keep it clean (we have youngsters here) and leave the politics and religious jokes for some other forum :)
User avatar
ricky racer
10+ Years
10+ Years
Posts: 6402
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:40 pm
Zip Code: 49120
Circle of Safety: Y
Location: Niles / Buchanan, Michigan

Designated Decoy

Postby ricky racer » Mon Mar 06, 2023 11:55 am

He knows its easy pickings for DUI's as the bar closes. Sure enough, right at 2am, a man stumbles out to his car. The cop watches as he fumbles to get his keys out, struggles to unlock and open the door, and drops the keys repeatedly before finally getting them in the ignition and starting the car. As soon as he pulls onto the street, the cop flicks on his lights and pulls him over.

"Sir, how much have you had to drink tonight?"

"Nothing, I've just been drinking soda all night."

"Sir, I have reason to believe you're intoxicated. Please step out of the car."

The cop administers the usual sobriety tests - reciting the alphabet, walking the white line, touching his nose - and the man passes. The cop brings out the breathalyzer, and he blows a zero - completely sober.

"I don't get it. I watched you stumble out of that bar, fumble your way into it, and drop your keys trying to get it started. Yet here you are stone cold sober. What happened?"

"Oh, tonight I'm the designated decoy."
1929 Farmall Regular
1935 John Deere B
1937 John Deere A
1941 John Deere H
1952 John Deere B
1953 Farmall Cub

User avatar
Dale Finch
10+ Years
10+ Years
Posts: 6774
Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:34 am
Zip Code: 27517
Tractors Owned: '51 Cub #140966 "Bruno" with Woods 59 mower
'55 Cub #187541 "Betty" with Fast Hitch
'55 Cub #190482 "Ben" with Woods 42 mower
'55 Cub #191739 "Bertha" with Woods 42 mower
'56 Cub #194370 "Boris" with Mott Flail mower
Circle of Safety: Y
Location: NC, Chapel Hill

Re: Designated Decoy

Postby Dale Finch » Mon Mar 06, 2023 1:29 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Good one!!
Dale Finch
Circle of Safety

User avatar
Bill Hudson
Team Cub
Team Cub
Posts: 9560
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 10:50 am
Zip Code: 44057
Tractors Owned: 57 F-Cub - Dad & Mom's Cub
77 F-Cub - Red Long Stripe
Circle of Safety: Y
Location: OH, Madison

Re: Designated Decoy

Postby Bill Hudson » Mon Mar 06, 2023 1:57 pm

What a hoot!

"The probability of life originating from accident is comparable to the probability of the unabridged dictionary resulting from an explosion in a printing shop." Edwin Conklin, biologist

Member of Ohio Chapter #6

Donegal Cub
10+ Years
10+ Years
Posts: 1203
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:30 pm
Zip Code: 00000

Re: Designated Decoy

Postby Donegal Cub » Mon Mar 06, 2023 5:59 pm

The old ones are still best Ricky :lol: :lol:

Return to “Cubber's say the funniest things”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests